Going back to work has been a big change for me. I really thought I had it in me to be a stay-at-home mom, but I just couldn't do it. I love my child, but I was bored sitting at home with her. And I missed adult conversation.
That being said, it hasn't been easy either. I miss my little girl when I am at work. Last night I actually cried in my car on the way home because I had second thoughts about going back. But I think the second thoughts was because I am actually enjoying working again, and I am upset about it. Why am I upset? Because I had that moment of not feeling like a good mom. It was just a moment that completely caught me off guard. I felt guilty that I was enjoying some time away from her. I felt guilty because I felt like me again; that I was completely in my element again.
But then I remembered, I was doing this for our family. Technically, I don't need to work, but not having a savings account has made me scared for the future. We really want to buy a house someday, and that is not going to happen until there is money in savings. Additionally, working will give me a sense of myself back, instead of just being mommy all the time! Not to mention, I am not exactly little Miss Suzy Homemaker....the only thing that gets done in this house on a regular basis is the laundry and dishes. Bathrooms are not my thing, and I let the baby have free range of the rest of the house, so it's messy for most of the day!
So now I get to figure out how to juggle school, work and home. But, I have an amazing husband, so I know that I will get through it all just fine. AND the baby will not want for anything!
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