Yep, starting my healthy lifestyle journey again. Notice I said lifestyle this time instead of diet and exercise program. I lost about 15 pounds over the summer, but in the last month, I gained all the weight back. For two simple reasons, I stopped going to the gym and I kept eating bad food. Last night, I said "enough is enough". If I don't get this under control, I am going to reach 200 pounds before the end of the year. I have never weighed this much, and it's depressing to think how close I am to that number on the scale.
So, staring the dreaded number down, I realized that in order to gain control of my life again, I had to evaluate what is going on in my life to get me here, where I gave up after being successful. So, what got me here? Simple, I don't believe in myself right now! That's a sad statement to make, but a very true statement. I spend the past four years getting my degree and teaching credential. I thought if I can just get my credential, I will get a job right away and will start making a difference in the lives of children. Boy, was I wrong!
The current state of our economy has left no job openings for new teachers, and older teachers are not retiring because of dwindling retirement accounts. Which leaves me competing with an unbelievable amount of teachers for one job. So, until things get better and our government realizes that cutting education budgets is hurting more than helping, I have resorted to subbing. I hate subbing!!! It's the worst job ever because students don't respect and teachers give you bs work to do with the students. It's boring at times, especially when subbing in a class that you have no idea what the students are learning. And finally, you feel like you are not really working, just babysitting. I just want my own classroom where I can create the atmosphere for learning and direct the students to reach their potential. But, like all things, I must let go and let God do the work for me. So, until the perfect teaching job is available for me, I will do what I must to stay in the education field, and hopefully learn something from this experience.
Which leads me to my new lifestyle change. Bright and early this morning, I returned to Weight Watchers. I climbed on the dreaded scale for my starting weight, and began the journey again to changing my life. And now, I hope this will be the journey that changes everything for me...if not, then I will be sure I will return again, and again, and again, until I get it right!
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